Film Name: 12夜 / Twelve Nights / 十二夜
At first, I found this film incredibly authentic—so real that it felt like this kind of love was everywhere. An indescribable feeling: two people together, sweet, happy, intimate. But before long, that feeling vanished completely, leaving only trivialities and arguments. You realize how someone so close can suddenly become unbearable, Boredom, frustration, and eventually the decision to part ways. Yet no matter how they split, the aftermath brings discomfort, longing, and a yearning for that elusive feeling—coupled with lingering physical desire. So they entangle once more, reuniting. But soon enough, they realize that initial spark truly can’t be rekindled. They part ways again.
Truthfully, when Jeannie poured her heart out to Alan while he slept, nothing meaningful remained between them. That they could still end up together despite such indifference truly leaves one amazed at men.
Jeannie represents a relatively common type, though most women today are far more pragmatic than she. She dumped her ex over some crappy tarot card reading, then instantly lost interest in Alan when she learned he hadn’t actually cheated on her.
She must be a pure emotionalist. People like that probably never even think about what kind of man they like or what suits them—it’s all instinct. When the feeling hits, they’ll shower you with affection and cling to you desperately. even crawling back without dignity. When the feeling fades, it’s goodbye immediately. Others might see her as careless and frivolous with love, but deep down, she believes romance must remain pure and untarnished. She insists true love can only be found through instinct, happily repeating this cycle of love and loss, wandering and loving, over and over again.
I used to be that kind of person. I thrived on relentless perseverance through twists and turns.
Put simply, I craved novelty and loved daydreaming. To be blunt, it was childish.
Yet reality shows that those who are more grounded find relatively fulfilling love—though calling them “grounded” might sound dismissive. Perhaps it’s better to say they’re the smarter, more rational ones. Before entering a relationship, they take time to understand the other person. They have clear criteria for a partner—appearance, finances, education, personality, family background. They know how to avoid wasting time on those with whom they have no future. They understand what kind of person suits them, how to protect themselves, and their relationships often last longer.
At this point, the sentimentalists might protest: weighing pros and cons like this isn’t love at all! Love is pure and grand! Well, yes—but is rushing headlong into something truly love? If you don’t love yourself first and look out for your own interests, how can others love and cherish you? Do you think a man will feel particularly precious about something that throws itself at him recklessly from the start?
You must first make yourself precious—at least appear precious and rare—before others will cherish you.
Those who rely solely on feelings plunge into love swiftly, part ways just as quickly, then dive headfirst into new romances, repeating the cycle endlessly. Eventually, they often end up with the feeling Jeannie described: “Every time I see an ex-boyfriend, it feels strange. I can’t believe I ever liked him.”
It’s not strange at all. You probably just fell for the feeling itself. Once you truly got to know him, that feeling vanished. But if you don’t even know someone, what exactly do you like about them? How shallow is that kind of affection? Or did you just like his physical form? Or were you merely infatuated with your own fantasies about him?
I’ve watched this movie at least four or five times. Each time leaves me feeling heavy, wondering why love comes so swiftly only to fade just as fast. If that’s truly how it is, what about those couples who last forever? Are they just myths?
Now I realize there’s really no need to agonize over these questions because of this film.
After all, people like this are just a segment—a significant one, perhaps, but not something everyone must experience.
Because of this film, I spent days pondering why love dies in the mundane. But upon reflection, true love never truly dies. It deepens with time, perhaps appearing dull or tiresome on the surface, yet beneath lies profound dependence and symbiosis. Or, as many say, it transforms into familial affection.
Young lady, do you fear your love might end this way?
It’s okay. Just don’t start a relationship this way.
Next time you begin a romance, first look closely at the other person. Is this truly what you want? Do they possess qualities that genuinely attract you and inspire you to grow? Can you communicate with them effectively? Do your life philosophies align?
Don’t rush. The right person for you won’t disappear. Blindly stumbling through love will not only strip you of your beautiful illusions about romance through endless emotional turmoil, but worse, you might one day lose sight of what you truly desire—or even lose yourself entirely.
So give yourself ample time. First understand yourself, then understand others, and only then speak of love.
Fast food is convenient, but it lacks nourishment.
Only through slow, attentive love can you attain true affection and truly enrich yourself.
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